Nowadays, having anxiety is a ubiquitous thing in this generation. Some people still have this fear of doing something or express their opinion. Because they are afraid of other people’s reactions or judgment. Social media is a big platform to express your feeling, thought, and sharing information easily and quickly spread. That means that everything you do may affect others, which will lead to a judgment from other people; it can be positive and negative. Aside from social media, it also can happen in our society.
Positive responses are good; they make us feel ‘satisfied’ or ‘accomplished’ on what we have done. Adverse reactions may lead to a lack of confidence in ourselves, making us question our own values that will cause so-called self-hatred. Based on Psychology Today Articles about Self-hatred, it is not a disorder, but it is one of several possible symptoms of depression. The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) articulates this symptom as “feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick).” When you have those kinds of feelings, it can be dangerous and lead you to harm yourself.
As human beings, we have worth, worth of living, and worthy of being loved by someone, especially by ourselves, because we can cultivate self-love. Loving yourself is essential, and it can be the key to find your true happiness and who you really are. But then people might ask: “What exactly is self-love?” and don’t know how to self-love, or even they don’t know how to start. But first, we have to see the definition of self-love. Self-love is an act of giving an appreciation of one’s own worth and well-being. Self-love also means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves.
People might think that self-love is hard to apply, but it’s not hard yet not that easy if we are committed to practicing self-love. We’ve all heard the benefits of self-love, and we know that self-love is something we need. The real question is how. How can we learn to love ourselves? Here are steps you can take to set you on the fulfilling path toward true self-love:
- 1. Giving a little appreciation to yourself
After doing some hard works, give yourself a little appreciation, just merely by saying this: “You did a great job today. Thank you.”
- 2. Being true to yourself
Being true to yourself is a personal choice for truth, making choices about how you want to live. Don’t let others take control of yourself because you have the total power to live your life in any way you wish to and be faithful and factual to the truth about you.
- Learn to forgive yourself
People make mistakes. But don’t make those mistakes as your reason to give up instead of making those a learning process. So, forgiving yourself when you aren’t lovely or genuine to yourself.
- Learn to listen to yourself
Listening to yourself can mean two things. Firstly, paying attention to how you internally talk to yourself is crucial for cultivating an intimate feeling of self-love. Secondly, during times of emotional distress, asking yourself the question “What do I need?” and listening mindfully to the answer can prove invaluable.
- Giving yourself a break from self-judgment
You may be tempted to judge yourself as a failure at fixing your low self-esteem, but what you really are is a person making a long and sometimes challenging journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Don’t hold yourself to unrealistic standards and expect to quickly transform what are often lifelong thinking habits.
- Stop comparing yourself with others
People have their own values and their own uniqueness or strength to shine. So, stop comparing yourself with others because you are you.
- Relearning about yourself
Mindfulness can help us to relearn. Recognizing yourselves with pleasure in this way is an essential component of self-kindness. For instants, yoga is the best choice to regain a sense of satisfaction to increase mindfulness and help you along the road to self-compassion.
Just a little reminder for all of us:
Problems are a continual thing in life. They just don’t go away. Instead, they improve. If you avoid problems, it doesn’t mean that your life will be more comfortable. The key is in solving the issues, not in not having problems in the first place. Knowing ourselves better is very important to solve our problems in a good and proper way to understand our own values. Every person has their own remedy. The only one who knows our needs is ourselves.
However, don’t push away others who tried to help you because we, as social beings, need each other’s help. If something terrible happens to you or you are getting hurt, do not be afraid to seek help through close friends and family or psychologists because they know how to handle it professionally and give you some therapy to help overcome self-hatred another mental illness.
“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?” – from Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes.
Written by Aisha Zahra Paramarta and